The Mongol Birthday Song
Sung to the Tune of "The Volga Boatmen"
[NOTE: I went to link to this, and it turns out that Master Ioseph’s
Domain registration has expired, as of about 12/17/14. Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.]
This song is NOT copyrighted. It is Public Domain. It is quite common in the Dark Horde (SCA), and has been for some twenty or so years. These are the common Dark Horde verses.
Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Death and gloom and black despair
People dying everywhere
Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
May the candles on your cake
burn like cities in your wake
Burn the Castle and storm the keep
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!
May your deeds with sword and axe
equal those with sheep and yaks
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you
They stole your gold, your sword, your house
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse
so you're 29 again
don't tell lies to your good friend
So another year has passed
don't look now they're gaining fast!
Black Death has just struck your town
you yourself feel quite run-down
We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!
So far death you have bypassed
Don't look back it's gaining fast
I'm a leper, can't you see
Have a birthday kiss from me
Burn, then rape by firelight
Add -romance- to life tonight!
Birthdays come but once a year,
Marking time as Death draws near
Now you've lived another year,
And your death is drawing near.
Raise your cup of bitter cheer,
Make the barman eat his ear
Fear and gloom and darkness but
no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT
You're a period cook, its true
ask the beetles in the stew
Now your jail-bait days are done
let's go out and have some fun!
You must marry very soon
baby's due the next full moon
Were I sitting in your shoes
I'd go out and sing the blues
Tho you're turning 29
age to you is like fine wine
Now you've lived another year
age to you is like stale beer
Long ago your hair turned grey
now it's falling out, they say
It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year
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See the wrinkles on your face
Like the pattern of fine lace
Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et
This one lesson you must learn
FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn
While you eat your birthday stew
We will sack a town for you
Death will come before the dawn
Now's the time to party on!
People starving on the earth,
Go ahead, eat your dessert,
Rape the horses while they sleep,
See the women wail and weep
Happy Birthday!